AFF 1

~ Ludwig van Catt

99 Billion Clubs

99 billion clubs on Yahoo
99 billion clubs
You screw up the format
And change it to groups
We see the exodus out of Yahoo...

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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A Huge Disgrace
(To "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah")

We all balk
At Yahoo's fake gawk
But leave there we must
We felt it just
When we see
No future there to be
We don't agree with
Yahoo's problems with bandwidth
That they charge
Not trying to enlarge
The quality in there
No wonder everywhere
Else is seeing their loss
Spam is consistent
Too much is sent
Too many lies spread
But instead
Faces turned red
They ain't got quality
And they got no class
Their site's subpar
But that they don't see
Their future's not going too far
A site run by schmucks
Yahoo really sucks
Yahoo can kiss our ass
If they want us to return
Until then Yahoo can burn

CHORUS
I don't know why we went there
But I'm glad they made us leave
It's a big disgrace
We won't show our face
No no no no
The members left everywhere
Cause they started to dry heave
It's a huge disgrace
In cyberspace
Yeah yeah yeah

Yahoo's gone the wrong
Way for way too long
They got nothing to give
They leak like a sieve
We gave 910 in there
All day and all night
And we lost our eyesight
When they changed to groups
That they pick up with scoops
They try to find fault
With everything we ever did
We're under constant assault
The quality's well hid
Memberships don't swell
They can't stand the smell
But in other groups
Sites you'll find in loops
There a perfect fit
That we must admit
We said on our exit:
"Yahoo's full of shit"
We felt we were stuck in
Groups ugly as sin
They removed all they could
Of everything that was good

CHORUS

I am proud to say that
I left Yahoo flat
I waited three years
Through many tears
uh huh
They're on the last
Goin' nowhere fast
Yahoo we tell
To go to hell
And kiss our ass
They showed no class
When they took our clubs
Though they had major flubs
We thought that they were fine
Now it's asinine
They saw the green
Now they're too obscene
Bottom of the barrel they found
Scraped up the ground
They didn't find oil
But found what made our blood boil
It's overrated and we hate it
They should stick to the rut the clubs fit
Instead of groups that aren't good
Removed all the good they could

And that is why I left there
I won't go back on a dare
It's a big disgrace
Won't show my face
No no no no
Yahoo forced out all of us there
With spam filled groups everywhere
Yahoo's a disgrace
Don't show your face
No no no no

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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A Yahoo Lobotomy
(To "I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me (Than A Frontal Lobotomy))

Yahoo tried to us smother
Groups an indefferent path
They should have listened to their mother
Instead they raised all our ire and wrath..

As they grew from clubs that were running great
Later to throw them down the drain
And they're slowly dying without a debate
And Yahoo's forced to live without a brain...

CHORUS
Yes...our groups are all leaving freely
And Yahoo needs a frontal lobotomy
Forcing groups without giving us any say
But I'd rather have beer bottles in front of me
Than go into those Yahoo groups and see
How long we'll last before we run far away

Yahoo let their problems drive us crazy
Instead we see their future as hazy
Our eyesight kept blurring every few minutes
But to fix they neither have the brains or guts...

Yahoo's groups have never been stable
Their spam ads every click drove us all mad
I'm sorry to say that we are unable
To stay with a groups format that's awfully bad...

CHORUS

Funny how Yahoo works
People there are real jerks
To understand you will need more booze
Yahoo played a losing game
Other groups won't be the same
Because our cookies we will not lose...

When we were in Yahoo it was sheer hell
Never took it with one ounce of concern
After three years of dealing with Yahoo we tell
Yahoo's intellect is second to a fern...

I wonder if those Yahoo's 'ready know it
When we told them their logic wasn't sound
I want to get my hands right on the twit
Who Yahoo's group format into us did pound...

CHORUS

I might be sane
Yahoo doesn't have a brain...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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All Of the Lights In Your Heads Have Blown
(To "Every Light In the House")

They told us their groups would improve
Yet they never ever got in the right groove
We smiled and hoped they appreciate the gesture
Middle finger's aimed straight and true
Cause we can't stand how their groups look now
Bring back the clubs and we don't really care how...

CHORUS
Cause all of the lights in their heads have blown
Those damn groups have no quality shown
The bats from all their belfries flown
To bell towers with a better tone
All of the lights in their heads are off
When we give you suggestions as we all do hack and cough
All of the lights in your heads have blown...

Seems that Yahoo keeps on forgetting
What made their site the greatest thing
So you know Yahoo's staying in the dark
Continue going far off the mark
If you go south, you'll see members
The ones holding the guns still remember

CHORUS

Old Yahoo was once a proud old site
Their clubs were there when all things went right
Bad groups made us all elsewhere dwell
Their Swiss cheese spam filter can just go to hell
Nothing major was complained about
Those eyesore groups of theirs have forced millions of members out
Every light in their heads blew out...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Baloney
(To "The Oscar Mayer™ Song")

Its baloney has a first name
It's "Welcome to Yahoo"
Its baloney has a second name
"We're happy to see you."

Why do they spam us every day
And they think that it's all OK
To send us spam in every way...
The members left without delay...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Because
(To "Because")

Because you spammed us with porn sites galore
And penile and breast enhancements and more
In your email every day what do I see???
Panty hose and they're free

Because you spammed me with Miss Cleo too
All of her predictions will not come true
And if you send anymore I will sue
Because I'm mad at you...

Because Yahoo is run by fools
Deliberately blamed for faulty tools
Us who turn in spammers galore each day
Yahoo...Going My Way???

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Both Sides Now
(To "Both Sides Now")

Failure on a major scale
Your leaky spam filters we bailed
And spam emails show every day
Blamed us and went away...

Now we have left Yahoo fore'er
I really don't think this will scare
As they fiddle with the numbers
Unrealistic blurs...

CHORUS
They're talking out of both sides now...
And which side talks we don't know how
They can live with themselves here
For the truth seems to disappear...

Moons have passed my head's still spins
Groups cause dizziness nausea begins
As your spam shows on every click...
Yahoo's making us sick...

I still feel the dizziness though
I've been out for almost a year
I don't care where Yahoo does go
Long as the heat does sear...

CHORUS

Biggest fears are left behind
Invites to Yahoo blocked in kind
Dreams were shattered of great taste
Look at Yahoo: a waste...

I miss my old friends but not Yahoo
They took what was best...turned the screw
Well...something's lost...it's quality
There's nothing to see...

CHORUS

They screwed up big from all sides now
Let's hope that they find out somehow
For what is best they can't recall
Yahoo really doesn't have a ball...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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BUBBA SHOT UP YAHOO
(To "Bubba Shot The Jukebox")

It was great in the Yahoo clubs when we were posting each day
Then they ruined it with a groups format...we left without delay
And suddenly poor Bubba couldn't take any more of Yahoo's crap
He got in his right mind when the .45 came off his lap

CHORUS
Bubba shot up Yahoo last night
They once were good now they're an awful fright
When he shot with his trusty .45
We all came alive
Shooting with the jive
Bubba shot up Yahoo last night...

Now Yahoo ain't ever been accused of being mentally stable
But we all urged Bubba to never put that old Colt back on the table
Even to reload...even if the cops show up...even if tired
And we told him not to stop until all his bullets have been fired...

CHORUS

Bubba you look tired...mind if I take over???
Then he starts heading for the door
Keep your aim high my friend
Aim at that fool that gave groups without end
With reckless abandon I shot
That idiot I finally got
Bubba hollered out "Good shootin' Lud
Ya got 'im 'fore he hit the mud."

CHORUS

I knew that he was filled with pride
The tears falling from his eyes
Beyond a shadow of a doubt we felt it justifiable homicide

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Good Riddance
(To "Taps")

Good riddance
Our absence
Will you show us some class
Or do we leave en masse
They don't have any sense
Good riddance...

© 9-24-2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Green Yahoo
(To "It's Not Easy Being Green")

Yahoo is always seeing green
Members leaving every day
It really is obscene
When I think it could be better
It turns the opposite way
In some ways it's more than a spam-filled letter

Yahoo's greedy for the green
Their welcome spreads thin
As all of their memberships are seldom seen
Everyone is passing them over
Because their groups caused our eyes to blur
Sent to other groups sites we now post in

The green's the color they see
And green's the color their groups turn us
And green with envy after the fuss
We all removed ourselves from Yahoo so happily...

They wondered how can it all be
Yet they never wondered why
But why make them cry
Why we never will go back to there
Not on a dare...
And stay at other sites of beauty...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Headed For Destruction
(To "Eve Of Destruction")

Yes Yahoo sucks so bad we're all knowin'
Vacuums going on their groups showin'
They're too stupid to know what once made them great
And turned their backs on those who never gave them the shake
Those members have now left to other group sites glowin'
Yet they'll told us over and over and over again their lies
But it's way too late...they're on the path to destruction...

Don't they understand just why we were leaving???
Their groups and spam ads did cause to us heaving
As we deleted our groups we told them all why
That the well of quality on Yahoo's run dry
It has gotten so bad that there's no believing
Yet they told us over and over and over even more lies
We really don't care...they're on the road of destruction...

Yeah, I'm still mad at Yahoo for what they have done
They took out what was causing the fun
Crime against humanity were placed there instead
When I complained that format was spinning my head
Yahoo's future's quickly disintegrating
The rest of them knows it's frustrating
When telling them over and over and over again they'll change
You can't believe them...and they're headed out for destruction...

You have asked us all on why we hate Yahoo
There's so many answers coming out of the blue
Seems between their ears there's way too much space
But it keeps ruining that same old place
Yahoo was once great...but now they're a disgrace
They can't bury dead members without a trace
My request is not go to Yahoo and show your face...
They told us over and over and over again more lies
Still don't believe that they're headed for destruction???

Come on...you must believe that they're headed for destruction...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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How Are Things In Yahoo Groups
(To "How are things in Glocca Morra?")

I see you leave, Yahoo members here
It well may be that Yahoo's swallowed a big turd
It was a breeze,
That you did disappear
It well may be that you're flipping them the bird
And once more please...

How are things in Yahoo Groups now
Are the posts still leaving there
On New Year's Eve 1970
Causing members away from Yahoo flee?

How are things in Yahoo Groups now?
Are trolls the only ones posting there?
Does it seem that you're saying goodbye
As you fly by
And do you walk away
With tears flowing free each and every day?

So I see you posting freely
In other groups easily
And each post that comes a flaming Yahoo stay
How are you since out from Yahoo this fine day?

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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If I Had A Hammer???

If I had a hammer
I would hit Yahoo with it
Cause they littered those eyesores
All over the net
We cannot escape them
We cannot shake the nightmares
That Yahoo brings out spamming my brothers and my sisters
All over the net

If Yahoo were a bell
Wouldn't ring in the morning
Wouldn't ring in the evening
Because it's broken
Seems there's no clapper
To ring out their warnings
When Yahoo starts spamming my brothers and my sisters
All over the net

They're doing it wrong
Not only in the morning
But also in the evening
They screwed up their site
Future's in danger
We'll leave without warning
Because Yahoo spammed all my brothers and my sisters
All over the net

Well…I got a hammer
And hit them with it
Now it's time to fumigate
The groups they spammed bland
It's time to leave this Yahoo
For better sites anew
If you really want to see us go to SmartGroups and say HI
The best groups online…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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If
(To "Freebird")

If we all left tomorrow
Would you know that we had gone
All your eyesores brought our sorrow
Cause there's too many places you've gone so wrong???

If we keep up with your email
We'd get spammed to the stone age
You have failed on such a huge scale
And you brought on all our rage
Too many ads there
The ads right on every page
Knowing we can not escape
Yahoo's in bad shape

Good bye fools, it's been three long years
Too long
And my feelings I can't change
Really hope you take it badly
We all know you're to blame

Yet if we stay with you Yahoo
It will mean we've lost a screw
We're going to other sites now
Where our eyesight will allow
To see no more ads
And the bird to you we'll flip
And Yahoo is such a gyp
We know they won't change

Lord help us if they change
We see the mange
It will be much more strange
Yeah...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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I'm Glad you Left
(To "Ombra mai fu")

Away from Yahoo we all left
Eyesight's been stolen away by theft
Our eye doctor was on speed dial
Yahoo doesn't have any style
Shouldn't look back at them for any reason
Not now or any season
I'm glad that you left...

It is because
Yahoo is full of vegetables
From the neck right on up
Too many flaws

I'm glad you left
There's too many vegetables
The trolls also know it
They're full of shit

Why did we first go there
It was a dare
Now I'm glad that you're gone
Singing this sweet song
I'm glad for you
Out of Yahoo...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Left Their Groups
(To "Three Blind Mice")

Left their groups
All of their groups
See how they spam
It is a scam
Their groups blinded the poor farmer's wife
They cut off their balls with a Ginsu knife
And what differences does it show
They sure blow…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Let Us Leave You Yahoo
(To "Let Me Call You Sweetheart")

CHORUS
Let us leave you Yahoo
And to hell with you
You're giving us nightmares
When you bought those flares
You turned into Enron
As your spam runs on
Let us leave you Yahoo
AND to hell with you…

All your members are leaving
Day by day
Yahoo really can't believe
That we'll stay
With those butt ugly groups there
Where the spam shows everywhere
You're the worst joke on the net
Don't forget…

CHORUS

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Me Neither
(To "Me Neither")

Yahoo we've been posting in your clubs three years on end
Wonderin' when improvements to Yahoo you'll to us send
They pretend that they never see
Problems with being butt ugly
Do you think that they'll ever improve???

Me neither
So glad we all agree
On one thing
They're feeling our sting
Well their groups are awful empty
Wonder why nobody's there
Would you like to ask what I think about this???
Mind reader...

It was fun in Yahoo before before their lack of quality
I don't even check in there in fear that I'd go blind...
Friendships in the clubs used to flow
And now there's nowhere else to go
But leave Yahoo to other sites in mind

MSN
And to Smart Groups just for fun...
Thank God for
Anything not Yahoo
Tried to beg and steal and charge
In our lives they do barge
I just see an empty site
With their ads annoying you each day and night

Their email
A Swiss cheese spam filter
Psychic customers keep on mailing me
For some more psychic advice
And I'm running out of lines
Do you think I should stop insulting Yahoo???
You're kidding...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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No One's Around
(To "The Wanderer")
-Song does best with an echo machine…
Usage will be marked with *-

Yahoo's the worst joke on the internet around
Their format looks best buried six feet underground
They grouped up and screwed us
Yet to me it's all the same
They make us scream and cuss
From the internet's hall of shame
Because it's the Yahoo groups
In those Yahoo groups
No one's *around…around…around…around…

Well Yahoo blows, it's a fact yet they're wary of that fact
At Yahoo's groups only the quality is lacked
All that spam they showed turned out to be a pest
They caused us all to run over to SmartGroups and the rest
Cause those old Yahoo groups
Turned to YaSPAM groups
No one's *around…around…around…around…

We go away with a few frowns
They go through life without a clue
Yahoo's run by too many clowns
I sent my complaints to Yahoo
There's no way they're going through…

It seems they're the type of site that likes to screw around
They screwed and killed our clubs and the members all sound
Yahoo really angered every boy and girl
Left their groups to better groups around the world
Yet in the Yahoo groups
In those Yahoo groups
No one's *around…around…around…around…
Leave those Yahoo groups
Screwed up Yahoo groups
No one's *around…around…around…around…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Note To New Yahoo Users
(To "Ghost Riders In the Sky")

There's members leaving Yahoo on bright and sunny days
Their groups are always filled with spam they never will amaze…
They constantly hit a new low
And everyone does know
When you have a successful site
You don't change it to a fright…

CHORUS
Hey Yahoo you can shove your groups straight up your candy ass…

After I left Yahoo groups my headaches went away
There will be no way in hell that we'll return or stay…
Because they're overrun by spam
And they don't give a damn
For lack of quality they lost us
In that massive exodus…

CHORUS

All I have left to say is don't go to Yahoo
If you really want to know that's the best you can do…
Yahoo only sucked but blew
A major pain at play
You will pray that it all goes away
As we did yesterday…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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