Xmas 1

~ Ludwig van Catt

A Yahoo Lullabye
(To "Guten Abend, gut' Nacht")

Say to Yahoo goodbye
They are the weakest link
They cheat and they lie
But overall they stink
They think dupes
Go for groups
As they look in a mirror
They believe
We won't leave
But why do they shiver?

Good riddance Yahoo groups
It just had to be done
Stomachs churned up in loops
They took away our fun
Goodbye now
Don't allow
The door to to slam too hard
As it may
Flow and sway
Like their ass filled with lard…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Austrian Yahoo Christmas Medley
(To "Süßer die Glocken nie klingen", "Kling, Glöckchen, klingelingeling", "O du fröhliche", "Laßt uns froh und munter sein", "Morgen kommt der Weihnachtsmann", "Kommet, ihr Hirten", "Leise rieselt der Schnee", "Still, still, still", "Auf, auf, ihr Reichsgenoßen")

Yahoo's the site no one goes to
No one wants to return
To groups that are sent from Bellvue
And will Yahoo ever learn
That members don't want things that hurt their eyes
Nor formats that everyone does despise
To other groups sites we go
Our greatness there to bestow…

And in hell those groups should burn
They will never learn
The reason behind our leaving
We're sick of their deceiving…
Their groups site designed by Jack Kevorkian
They pissed off an insult comedian
As to other sites we go
Our greatness there to bestow…

Yes…Yahoo sucks and sucks and sucks
Yes…Yahoo sucks
Who designed the groups there???
Ray Charles could do better…
Even Stevie Wonder
Would not make that blunder…
Yes…Yahoo sucks and sucks and sucks
Yes…Yahoo sucks

Get out of this Yahoo
Before it gives you
Headaches that just won't go away
Tylenol and Tums just may
Make Yahoo disappear
Hey you Yahoo you can start kissing our rear…

Get out of this Yahoo
Before it makes you
Put an eye doctor on speed dial
Turned into a steaming pile
It's a bunch of manure
Send that format return it to sewer…

Free us all of those unsightly groups
Run by all those Yahoo nincompoops

CHORUS
Yahoo…goodbye…bye bye bye bye bye
Weakest link goes back to the pigs sty…
No one goes there and they wonder why…

Hey…Yahoo your groups really do stink
No wonder they call you the weakest link

CHORUS

Yahoo really doesn't see
Why their members go and flee
And they really do not care
And it shows there everywhere
The worst groups site on the net
That everyone will forget
Yahoo you're a huge disgrace
Hey…don't even show your face…

Will they ever get a clue
Why their groups just sucked and blew???
How they did that I don't know
How did Yahoo suck AND blow???
Hoover's suing Yahoo for
Using patents for much more
Without paying one penny

Get out of Yahoo now
Don't ask why or how
Just get out now…
Don't look straight at them
It will cause mayhem
Your eyes will be sore
Just can't take anymore
Of those groups so bland
We leave with our band
To other groups sites
Away from awful frights…
They're a butt ugly site…

Leave the net's weakest link
Because they do stink
Worse than e'er before
Their groups do us bore
Eye doctor's on speed dial
They had to defile
Every member here
See us disappear
From butt ugly sites
We're sick of the fights
On odd and even nights…

Oh my head does hurt
They're run by perverts
Who don't really care
They don't really scare
Their groups are proof of that
Their groups have run flat
Every member here
See us disappear
From butt ugly sites
We're sick of the fights
On odd and even nights…

Liars Yahoo do be
It's clear for all to see
Their groups are so butt ugly
Nothing will return the beauty

Our dear departed clubs
While stuck in posting hubs
In clubs we all had a ball
Now it's doses of Tylenol

The headaches they do give
Us in groups non-active
They really want us to leave
Oh…that much we all do believe…

Bye Bye Bye
You are now the weakest link
Yahoo really sucks and blows all year
See your members all disappear
Bye Bye Bye
Yahoo is the weakest link…

Farewell you Yahoo groups
See your membership droops
We say good riddance to you
To you we say adieu…
Say goodbye
Without sigh
When we all do leave we'll sing
Hallelujah's ring
To new groups we do bring…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Deck Yahoo
(To "Deck the Hall")

Deck Yahoo
Because you want to
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Yes their spam
It is a big scam
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Drive us out
To other sites, shout
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
The trolls appear
At Yahoo here…
Fa la la la la, la la la la

See the blazing
That they're facing
Fa la la la la, la la la la
We're leaving
And they're believing
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Nothing's wrong
That nobody goes on
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
They have no sense
They sure are dense
Fa la la la la, la la la la

Go away you
Member so true
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Don't want here
Members to appear
Fa la la la la, la la la la
Singing with glee
"Happy we be"
Fa la la, la la la, la la la
We packed away
Our groups today
To SmartGroups dot com, right there we'll stay…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Good Riddance Yahoo Groups
(To "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen")

Good riddance all those Yahoo groups
That took us all for dupes
Remember when our dear old clubs
Weren't designed in pubs
And passed off as a groups format
That went off oh so flat

CHORUS
O we left where we can spread our joy
Boy oh boy
We had left to a site we can enjoy…

All Yahoo did was piss us off
As they did laugh and scoff
When they put in those piles of spam
That's nothing but a scam
To force out faithful members there
In a state of disrepair

CHORUS

And what's worse Yahoo set our ire
A compost heap on fire
Passed off as a groups format
We must be in combat
But if things get any worse in there
Bob Hope will have to share

CHORUS II
His old jokes for us all to enjoy
To employ
Our laughs to other sites more joy…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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I Saw the Members Leaving
(To "I Saw Three Ships")

I saw the members leaving out
Of Yahoo groups this very day
I heard them all scream and shout
From Yahoo stay far far away

And why did they start to leave
Those Yahoo groups this very day???
Even worse than they did believe
Those Yahoo groups all stink away

Why did they change to that format
Those Yahoo clubs were great by far
And do they know it fell so flat
As we gather feathers and tar???

And will they even begin to learn
That Yahoo groups really DO suck
Into other groups sites we turn
Where we will have much better luck…

From there we start to post anew
On other sites we love so much
We won't return back to Yahoo
Unless around their necks…hands touch…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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I'll Be Leaving Yahoo
(To "I'll Be Home For Christmas")

I'll be leaving Yahoo
Don't you turn so blue
We all know
That Yahoo blows
And in three
Days I flee…

Other groups sites I go
Where my pen will flow
I'll be leaving Yahoo
For sanity anew

Straitjackets no longer
Make us all stronger
I'll be leaving Yahoo
For sanity anew…

For sanity anew…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Jingle Hells
(To Jingle Bells)

Dashing everywhere
Leaving on a dare
The dare that Yahoo would
Improve their site they should
Those eyesores don't work here
See us disappear
Oh what fun it is to leave
A site beyond belief

CHORUS
Oh Jingle hells
Yahoo smells
To there we won't return
Oh right now our stomachs churn
Will Yahoo ever learn…

A year or two ago
They really didn't show
That they had some class
Now they can kiss our ass
From there on they do blow
The clubs now nave no flow
Because they've been grouped up in shit
That people want to quit…

CHORUS

Right now they had blew
All their chances through and through
To try and get us back
It's quality they lack
There's no more clubs at all
We will not have a ball
Where else can you go to the dump
For formats in a clump???

CHORUS

Goodbye to all you fools
Who really have no tools
You are the weakest link
Because you really stink
We're packing up our bags
Cause your site only lags
Those groups make us all dry heave
Much more than you believe…

CHORUS

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Joy To the World

Joy to the world I left Yahoo
I'm glad with them I'm through…
Their email is so shoddy
Groups pissed off everybody
No chance upon return
In hell Yahoo should burn
To other groups sites will I now turn…

Joy to the world I left Yahoo
Their groups all sucked and blew
They pissed off everybody
With groups subpar and shoddy
And I shall not return
Where hell's fires all do burn
In Yahoo groups they will never learn

Joy to the world I left Yahoo
Spam's every click or two
Yahoo will now be known to be
Extremely butt ugly
Now I hope that you might
Leave Yahoo by tonight
Or when you recover your eyesight…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Mooned By Santa Claus
(To "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus")

Santa's leaving every Yahoo group
Into other groups sites he will snoop
Yahoo's a bunch of creeps
Stupidity in there steeps
Because they are so fucked up
And have no use for a cup…

And I saw Yahoo mooned by Santa Claus
That last gift to them without a pause
Oh so much fun it would have been
If Santa did that again
But with me joining Santa that night…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Requiem For Lost Clubs
(To "Auld Lang Syne")

And should all our old clubs be forgot
Through all that pain we fought
To give them the best look on the net???
Lest not forget…

CHORUS
That those old clubs were perfect still
Posting wars there at will
Now look where they have gone
They did us wrong…

Those clubs were greatness in themselves
In Christmas clubs like elves
Now the grinch has taken it all away
We left without delay…

CHORUS

Need eye doctors on speed dial now…
That site just won't allow
Our love of members show around
To other sites we sound…

CHORUS

They were once a respected site
Now they're the biggest blight
They grouped those eyesores in a lump
Return them to the dump…

CHORUS

You've become the weakest link
Your service now does stink
There's nothing there that makes us vow
To return anyhow…

CHORUS

You lost a lot of members here
See us all disappear
Your groups are now mere ghost towns
In midst of all those frowns…

CHORUS

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Santa Glitch Is Coming For You
(Parody of "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town")

You cannot get in
Your clubs to begin
You cannot get through
So what else is new???
Santa Glitch is coming for you.

He's screwed up Yahoo…
Not once but twice
Spamming on posts who's naughty or nice…
Santa Glitch works for old Yahoo.

It breaks down when you're typing
He knows when you're griping
He blows the whole Yahoo network…
Yes he is a stupid jerk!

OH! You cannot get in
The chatrooms within
404s galore
We cannot take more…
Santa Glitch just bought old Yahoo…

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

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