TYH 2

~ Ludwig van Catt

Leave Yahoo
(To "If You're Happy And You Know It")

If you're losing your eyesight
Leave Yahoo
If you're blinded by the light
Leave Yahoo

Their groups suffer from mange
Screw their day old spam exchange
All you have to do
Is leave Yahoo…

If you think Yahoo's not bright
Leave Yahoo
If by day or by night
Leave Yahoo

Their groups really are strange
Spam's all they can arrange
All you have to do
Is leave Yahoo…

If you really want a bomb
Just stay calm
Cause Yahoo's always there
Curse and swear

Their groups there's no one there
Any questions how to dare
How they got so bare
Blame Yahoo…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Leaving Yahoo Now
(To "You're In the Army Now")

You're leaving Yahoo now
They're gonna have a cow
Sick of their glitches
Those sons of bitches
Those that run Yahoo now…

They wonder why we flee
Because they're butt ugly
Every single group
They smell worse than poop
That's why we do them flee…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Let's Leave Yahoo
(To "Meister Jakob")

Let's leave Yahoo!
Let's leave Yahoo
They do blow
We do know
Can you see the spam around
Every post around so sound
We can't see
Past post three…

Let's leave Yahoo
Let's leave Yahoo
For what's new
From that zoo
All of us are sick of them
Tried to pass spam as a gem
Hands are tied
They had lied…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Marriage From Hell
(To Richard Wagner's "Treulich grführt")

Hey you Yahoo
Nothing's more true
No one's around
When the spam is so sound
All over site
It isn't right
Even the mail
Is getting spammed tooth and nail

To get around this
You shouldn't miss
Sending that huge lump
To the city dump
Or the IRS
Or the post office:
Physical addresses
Seem to suffice

Hey why so dim?
The members are slim
Yahoo's appearing
Rumors we're hearing
It's a ghost town
Everyone frowns
When they're in Yahoo
Sad but it is true

Not even God can save them:
They created mayhem
Those groups should be condemned…

Yahoo will only be known
For that big chance they'd blown

Those groups sure suck
And there's no luck
Getting your hands clean
They're really obscene
Right to the eyes
Members arise
Move to sites anew
Bid Yahoo adieu

Yahoo's disgrace
Shows their true face
They never cared
And they're not scared

When we call their spam
Nothing but a sham
That's forcing us out
We all scream and shout

Off to new sites
And to our delights
Blindness is gone
As we sing this song:

Yahoo you stink
The weakest link
And without a sigh
We must say goodbye…
Can't take much more
They're a spam whore
To the weakest link
Goodbye without wink…
From those that think…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Not fit for roaches
(To "La Cucaracha")

Really wanna leave this Yahoo???
And I really do not blame you
You even hear the roaches complain
That Yahoo's such a giant pain

CHORUS
Yahoo's approaches
Ain't fit for roaches
It could blind at any angle
We'd like to strangle
That damned old cockroach
Whose groups upon us did he poach…

Our heads start to spin there
Gave competition to Linda Blair
We never had that problem in clubs'
Even with their many flubs…

Their groups are such an eyesore
That we simply can't take any more
An oculist is right on speed dial
And every member did they rile…

We all told Yahoo go to hell now
No sanity there they will allow
Before they improve Yahoo with ease
I think that hell will over freeze…

The spam's on every single page there
And it seems that they really do not care
When asking them when it will all end
Ice hockey in hell will be the trend…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

O Kiss My Ass
(To "Danny Boy")

O Kiss my ass
Yahoo I will not be returning
Your groups lack class
Message boards not burning
Our temper's gone
You wonder where you went wrong
It is your groups
Which is picked up with scoops

Please send us back
To clubs where the boards attack
With our long posts
Not in towns of ghosts
We'd still be there
If clubs showed up everywhere
Go kiss our ass
Groups have no class
We hate Yahoo…

But if you lie
More members will start there leaving
And hope that you die
From of all that heaving
Landing on you
Looks like the groups of Yahoo
We all will flee
If those groups still there be

And I still hear
Yahoo's curses through the year
As if their dreams
Are now in shattered gleams
We shall defend
Our ideas till the end
On good groups smart
Will continue to win your heart…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Ode To Yahoo
(Sung to "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks)

Blame it all on the glitch
A development which
We can never really escape.
The last ones to know,
The first ones to show,
Causing founders with mouths all agape.
And I still can't believe
That we would all leave
Because we like Yahoo too much.
As my toast to you,
And all of Yahoo, too,
For a neck or two we can touch...

CHORUS
Cause we've got friends with high glitches
Where they come and go
And drives us crazy ever so.
But it's OK!
But, I'm not known for subtle bitches:
Only some simple digs
At our Yahoo big wigs
That run our clubs with high glitches.

Well I guess I was wrong,
The glitch may be gone,
But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.
But everything's all right
I may say good night
And hope for our sanity to endure.
But I didn't mean
To cause a big scene
Just to return some sanity lost
Before Yahoo's harm
Via the funny farm
Another founder's sanity cost...

CHORUS

Well I guess I was wrong,
The glitch may be gone,
But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.
But everything's all right
I may say good night
And hope for our sanity to endure.
But I didn't mean
To cause a big scene,
Just wait till I finish this glass.
We should tell Yahoo
That they should get through
And stick that glitch up their ass!

CHORUS

© 2000 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Ode To Yahoo (2nd version)
(Sung to "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks)

Blame it all on the groups
That are picked up with scoops
We can never really escape.
The first ones to know,
That they really blow,
Were us founders who want to escape.
I believe we should leave
Before we dry heave
Because that eyesore is too much
As my toast to you,
And all of Yahoo, too,
For their necks 'tween our hands to touch...

CHORUS
Cause their groups smell like manure
Where they come and go
It drives us crazy ever so.
It's not OK!
Those groups smell like a backed up sewer
The site's not fit for pigs
Or those Yahoo big wigs
That replace clubs with shit du jour…

Well I guess I was wrong,
Our clubs may be gone,
But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.
But everything's all right
I may say good night
And hope for our sanity to endure.
But I didn't mean
To cause a big scene
Just to return some sanity lost
Before Yahoo's harm
Via the funny farm
Another founder's sanity cost...

CHORUS

Well I guess I was wrong,
Our clubs may be gone,
But I'm still pissed, that is for sure.
But It would be all right
If we would just fight
This format which smells like manure.
But I didn't mean
To cause a big scene,
Just wait till I finish this glass.
We should tell Yahoo
That they should get through
And stick those groups up their ass!

CHORUS

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

OUT Go the Members
(To "Pop Goes The Weasel")

We suffered through those butt ugly groups
That are full of nincompoops
Because Yahoo our anger stirs
OUT go the members

CHORUS
They shouldn't have rid us of clubs
And forced us to go in pubs
Because still our anger stirs
OUT go the members

We're leaving this damn old Yahoo now
We're about to have a cow
Cause Yahoo our anger still stirs
OUT go the members...

CHORUS

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Run Far Away
(To Oingo Boingo's "Dead Man's Party")

They're all grouped up and going to hell
Logging into Yahoo…what a disaster…
In groups there's a horrible smell
Looks like they're run by a drunken master…

We're waiting for invitations to arrive
We sent out last July…are the members trying to hide???
Really that damn spam is giving us all hives
Forcing us to groups outside with a posting pride…

CHORUS
Yes my head is spinning
Much like Linda Blair
Nobody is winning
As those groups suck air…
This is Yahoo's party
Spam is served some more
What is even worse they give us shoddy groups glaore
Let's head for the door
Run far away from Yahoo groups…

All grouped up…they're going to hell
Members leaving Yahoo…
(How true…)
Now that line goes back as far as I can tell
Members leaving Yahoo…Yahoo
(YAHOO!)

Got sick of Yahoo's lies
Now we're giving Yahoo our fond goodbyes…
Even the chauffeur says they really stink
Says there's no room for the weakest link…

CHORUS

Run far away from Yahoo groups
Just be afraid of those Yahoo droops
Run far away from Yahoo groups

Run far away…
(repeat many times)

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

See Us Disappear
(To "Secret Agent Man")

I know a site whose future is in danger
Removing clubs for a format that's stranger
Yet all the moves they make
Another big mistake
Yahoo's the cause of all our pain and sorrow…

CHORUS
A mass exodus
See us scream and cuss
We know we're not wanted here
Now see us disappear…

Beware of groups sites that you find
With spam run amok by an evil mind
*UGH*…the spam's on every page
Giving us a constant rage
Hope Yahoo won't last to see tomorrow…

CHORUS
Repeat CHORUS

Posted in a poetry club today
Mostly sayin' without delay
I cannot stay…
Yahoo is playing with my head
And yes…this is what I said:
"Hope Yahoo won't last to see tomorrow…"

CHORUS

See us disappear…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Yahoo version of Shaving Cream
(Parody of Benny Bell's "Shaving Cream")

We have hit another Yahoo glitch
That's causing us founders a fit
Yet look at the first person to bitch
Who tells them that they're full of...

CHORUS
Shaving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.

If ever do they fix up this glitch
Fall right away, I will faint, I'll admit
It's true, a quarter each time I'd be rich
That I'd tell them that they're full of…
(CHORUS)

The Groups are the biggest eyesores
On the internet I'll admit
And from here we can't stand the odors
'Cause it smells like a big pile of…
(CHORUS)

And right now on other sites we visit
Because of Yahoo we did quit
Even showing up for one bit
Because Yahoo is so full of…

I hope that my story had ended
Hope it hurts their feelings a bit
And If Yahoo starts to feel offended
Stick their heads in a barrel of…
(CHORUS)

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Stinkin' Problem
(To "Thinkin' Problem" - David Ball/David Allan Coe)

CHORUS
Yes, I'll admit Yahoo's a stinkin' problem
What the hell's wrong with them?
Fumigation alone did prove
That damn smell you just can't remove…
They must admit they got a stinkin' problem
Yahoo thinks that they're a gem…
Once those glitches hit
The whole thing turns into shit…

Yahoo should wake up one day
Take the glitches away
Yet once our posting
Starts to bring
No complaint…
HEY!!! Why'd you faint???

CHORUS

Anyone here remember how good it used to be?
You can't? Well, I think it was a passin' memory…

CHORUS

Yahoo is now a flop
And they don't know how to stop…

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

String Them Up High
(To "Live And Let Die")

When they were good
And Yahoo understood what would
Make successful clubs go so high
(You never did
You always hid
Your groups sure slid)
Now it's such a butt ugly site
Which gives us a fright
It makes me want to cry
Let's string them up high…
(Up in the sky)
Don't ask me why
(But we know why)

I'm glad I'm leaving today…
When you create a groups site you have to do it well
And not have members tell you "go to hell"

They've gone beyond what I'll forgive
(Turned to a sieve,
They're intrusive,
Big laxative)
It's become a butt ugly site
Which gives us a fright
It makes me want to cry
Let's string them up high…
(Up in the sky)
String 'em up high
(Yahoo does lie)

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Sweet Torture
(Sung to "My Heart WIll Go On")

Every night in my dreams
I feel sick, I hear it,
That is what they called a damn hit?

Getting trapped in high beams
I go between them
Rather than listen on a whim...

Near, far
Wherever we are
I believe that Yahoo deserved this
Once more
Speakers near their door...
My tortures reserved this
Yet my stomach churns on and on...

This song taught us one thing
The more irritating
The better torture it will bring...

Blare it loud for Yahoo
Until the glitch stops you
From playing our revenge so true...

Until
Windows fall from sill
Shattered from the volumes we play
Once more
They'll see what's in store
When they hear an encore:
This song tearing eardrums away

There are some songs that just won't go away...

I'm here
You're running with fear
As you know that I'm playing that song
You'll stay:
Blaring Yahoo's way;
Wearing earmuffs today
As that song plays on and on...

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Take Me Away
(Parody of the Dixie Chicks "Cowboy Take Me Away")

I said I wanna pound the earth
Wanna break it for all its worth
I wanna blow the Groups up and make it sound
As I pound hard on the ground…
In the comfort of my home
In a mild rage over Yahoo
In their glitch for you
Oh this sounds bad for me and you:

CHORUS
Please just take me away
Into this world as you to me say
In your eyes so blue
Let me please continue
Closer to Yahell below
And we're close to know
That they do blow…

They wanna walk and not run
They wanna skip all their fun
Some wanna look at the glitches here
And it only brings to me a tear…
I wanna have a lot of fun
While things get done
With my own comic style…
I will make you smile
That cure sounds good to me…I said
Let's hit Yahoo instead…

Chorus
BACK TO 1ST VERSE
Chorus

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Take Me Out Of Old Yahoo
(To "Take Me Out To The Ball Game")

Take me out of old Yahoo
And out to other sites new
I don't care if Yahoo gets hacked
There's no way that I'll ever go back
They screw screw screwed every member
They don't know or remember
They think as one two three million leave:
It's not a bad thing…

Take me out of old Yahoo
Before I take you out too
There's a sniper up on the roof
We hope their windows aren't shatterproof
Music blared: Celine Dion
Until those damned groups are gone
We'll blare one two three annoying
Songs that she did sing…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

Take Your Groups And Shove It
(To David Allen Coe's "Take This Job And Shove It")

CHORUS:
Take your groups and shove it
Where the sun don't shine no more…
Between spammers and glitches, don't we just love it?
They've become a bore!
You'd better not say
As I'm on my way
To walking out that door…
Take this site and shove it
I ain't surfin' here no more…

I've been in this damn glitch factory
For too long as you can see…
Spammers come out from far and wide…
Yahoo's hands seem to be tied
With many penile enlargement sites
They must have the biggest fights…
Because they never had the balls to weigh
And hear me reply this way:

CHORUS

Customer service is full of SOBs
Never listen to our pleas…
Should they get fixed along with these glitches?
(Don't laugh yourself in stitches!)
One of these days the glitches are to stop
And Hell's getting a hockey team…
Their faces show that they're a flop
After we have the guts to scream:

CHORUS 2
Take your groups and shove it
Where the sun don't shine no more
That chain letter format of yours…
It smells like shit
It's a big eyesore
Please return our frames
Cause we ain't playin' games
Take your groups and shove it
We ain't clubbin' here no more!!!

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

TOP

The Ballad Of Lost Clubs
(To "They Call The Wind Maria")

And now right here
We have a fear
That will not go away…
Through all that muck
Their groups sure suck
We pray they'll go far away…

Yes…Yahoo blows
And it sure shows
Our emails over quota…
Yahoo ignores
No one adores
The spam's everywhere you saw…

An eyesore…
Can't take more…
They call Yahoo an eyesore…

Before we knew
That Yahoo blew
Their clubs were really run well
Despite glitches
And our bitches
Now fixed and moved all to hell…

But then one day
They went away
And pissed us off to no end…
Yes Yahoo blows
It really shows
Their class they did to us show:

They have none…
Clubs are done
They don't want us to have fun…

The spam they send
It doesn't end
Away from them we will flee…
To depart Groups
Into SmartGroups
The best place that you can be…

No Yahoo's lost
Their groups I tossed
Back into the garbage can…
Oh Yahoo blows
It really shows
I wonder if it's their plan…

No balls show
(Yahoo sucks)
We all know
(Yahoo sucks)
That Yahoo really does blow…

An eyesore…
Can't take more…
Yahoo sure
Smells like a backed up sewer…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

TOP