AFF 2

~ Ludwig van Catt

O Yahoo
(To "Layla")

What do you do when you hear echoes
And nobody's posting on your site
They are heading for other groups it shows
Because Yahoo's a horrid fright

O Yahoo
Did we just hurt your pride
O Yahoo???
You tried and you tried
O Yahoo
Wonder why nobody goes inside???

We used to be there with elation
Yahoo Clubs were a sensation
Sanity went far away from you
Our eyes are now black and blue...

O Yahoo
You really ain't too bright
O Yahoo
You started a losing fight
O Yahoo
Do you see your members taking flight???

Let's make the best of this situation
And leave Yahoo with elation
On to better sites right on the net
AOL's in a laughing fit...

O Yahoo
Hey your groups really blew
O Yahoo
No wonder there's so few
In Yahoo
And in other groups sites memberships grew...

O Yahoo
You really did it wrong
O Yahoo
We're going going gone
O Yahoo
Your list of stupidity's too long...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Say Goodbye
(To "Taps")

Say goodbye
As you fly
'Cross the net
To forget
Those eyesores
We can't take it no more...
Yahoo sucks...

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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See their spam
(To "Row Row Row Your Boat")

See see see their spam
It's nothing but a scam
Yahoo groups are nothing but crap
In other groups we'll rap…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Survival
(To "Eye Of the Tiger")

Yahoo's weak...everyone knows
Quality it never shows
They tried to prance
Their groups are the best dance
But will they stop stepping on our toes???

So many times
No reason or rhymes
Seem to work for their self glory
They lost their grip on the reality
That their fight to survive has been lost...

CHORUS
In the fight for survival
They relied on the bull
And to spread it as thick as they can throw it
It is now their groups format
See how we left them flat
But Yahoo will never admit
Groups that are full..

A disgrace right on the net
Many people want to forget
They say more are
Going in there by far
The numbers are their biggest upset...

CHORUS

Rising up in other groups sites
Where they all see our glory
Reality's set and Yahoo still fights
Keeps changing with brand new stories...

You know Yahoo will never
Stop until they sever
Our eyeballs from their sockets by those eyesores
But we're walking through new doors
Stalking laughter and glee
And our fortune will always be
All Yahoo free...

We fled from Yahoo...
We're free from Yahoo...
We've gone from Yahoo...
Don't go to Yahoo...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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The Ruination Of Yahoo
(To "Little Man")

I remembered Yahoo when they were a small site
Beauty in Windows: a bright
Idea of clubs…
Sure they had some flubs
And they had some flaws
But never stuck us with butt-ugly claws
That forced us all to leave
And not believe…

I won't go back to their groups on a bet
Other than their email their site I will forget
Completely screwed up by all of that spam
Which proves to me that Yahoo doesn't give a damn…
They drove the members out
All that spam about…

CHORUS
Now why can't they
Run from groups away
That people don't want
But they seldom think
That from hell those Yahoo groups don't stink
We used to laugh and taunt
No today
We're posting in other groups
In much better groups…

We raised a glass:
"Yahoo kiss our ass
If you expect us back…
Your class does lack…
Groups are an eyesore…
Don't lurk anymore
In a galvanized bucket
Your groups I'll chuck it
You drove the members out
Is that what Yahoo's about???

I hung in through tears
For three long years
Only you tried to sell
The path straight to hell
To those who do believe
That wouldn't depart and leave
Glorified eyesores
That nobody adores
And run by a bunch of spam whores…

CHORUS

After I left that day
And without delay
They try to fool the world on what's not spam
They're nothing but a scam
It's jumbo sized
Have they even realized
They're screwing the members there…
Members everywhere???

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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We Have Left You
(To "We Will Rock You" by Queen)

EWWW
Yahoo groups really do stink that bad
They're really bad
Made us extremely mad today
Get that egg off their face
That big disgrace
Groupin' that spam all over the place
Screamin'

We have we have left you
We have left you Yahoo

Yahoo's just a spam site
It's not right
Eyesores on the net
All the members want to forget
All those posts that we missed
They made us pissed
Leaving groups behind as members each night
Singing

You are the weakest link
Goodbye
We have left you Yahoo

Yahoo you're an old site needs work
Stop making our eyes sore you jerk
Don't even want to lurk
Take that egg off your face
You disgrace
It's about time we put them back in their place…

We have left you Yahoo
Goodbye
You are the weakest link
Bye Yahoo
We have we have left you
We have left you Yahoo
Goodbye

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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When You Say You're Leaving Yahoo
(To "When You Say I Beg Your Pardon, Then I'll Come Back To You")

When you say you're leaving Yahoo
Then I'll be proud of you
If they want you to forgive them, don't return
Just leave Yahoo from Serrano
And leave from Capistrano
The fires from hell in there will always burn...

When they told you that they're sorry
That should cause you to flee
'Cause they return to the same substandard work
My friends I'm glad you've parted
That site where glitches started
Took over by those groups run by jerks

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Bites the Dust
(To "Another One Bites The Dust")

Yahoo thinks their groups are neat
But they smell like dirty feet…
Used to be cool when people meet
Posting in clubs to their beat

Now that a nightmare has overtaken them
See the board of health did Yahoo condemn
Said that their eyelids had gone all numb…
Is Yahoo that fucking dumb???
YEAH

CHORUS
Another one leaves Yahoo
Another one leaves Yapoo
And another one's gone and another one's left
Another one left Yafoo
Hey when will you leave them too???
Another one leaves Yawho???

How did they think we'd get along
When everything's gone wrong
They tried to take everything that we had
And make its members all mad

Are they happy or just satisfied
On how many times they lied
About improvements which never came???
This sounds too much like Yahoo's game…

CHORUS

GO
Just leave 'em leave Yahoo in the dust
GO
Another one left Yahoo
Another one left Yaloo
SEE
Another one leave Yahoo
HA HA
Another one left Yascrew
HAAAAAA
They're now bust…

There are plenty of ways that you can hurt a man
Without a care or plan
You can blind him
You can find him
Spam the hell out of him
Kick him when he's down
Turn all those groups into different shades of brown
Your groups all look and smell like shit
Either start wearing gas masks or quit
Going in groups overrun by twits…

CHORUS

SEE YA!!!

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Blows Big Time
(To "Blowin' In the Wind")

How many groups must Yahoo screw up
Before they wear a cup?
How many pleas must the members make
Before we our bags all take???
How many times must Yahoo remind
Before they start kissing behind???

CHORUS
The answer's easy Yahoo blew it big time...
The answer is Yahoo blows big time...

How many mountains are made to mole hills
Before they have to take their pills???
How many years can we stand it in there
Till we won't return on a dare???
How many times can they turn and see
Perfection when it isn't to be???

CHORUS

How many times must they look out
Before the members took out
How many years did we put up with flap
And a groups format that is crap???
How many members will show
That your groups are showing your class more than low???

CHORUS

The answer is Yahoo blows big time...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Can Kiss Our Ass
(To "Gaudeamus Igitur"?)

Leave Yahoo groups on a dare
The worst virus anywhere
As members everywhere
Are leaving in droves there
Do as I did last Thursday
Leave their groups without delay
Get rid of a big headache
It's the best move you can make...

Due to great clubs that they lack
Their numbers just do not stack...
Groups are just a huge eyesore
Making us leave more and more
As I did a week ago
Yahoo groups really do blow
Their heads constantly stuck in sand
Members leaving spam so bland...

"Get your head out of your ass
And show some semblance of class..."
We all doubt that it will show
Which proves that Yahoo does blow
A mass exodus does show
To other groups will we go
Smarter groups we will go
Smarter we'll be for this move
And to Yahoo once more we'll prove...

That you don't antagonize
Members if you wish to rise
In hospitality
With the clubs we hardly see...
Nothing good left in Yahoo
Said all members once so true:
"You turned your backs without class
And now you must kiss our ass..."

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Eats Yellow Snow
(To "Don't Eat the Yellow Snow")

Dreamt I was in Yahoo
I woke up screaming at 2
In the morning tossed around with dread
Kicked my wife again out of bed
Too bad that nightmare's going through my head

And I out loud cried
That Yahoo had lied
Return our clubs now
Or we won't allow
Ourselves to return no more
As Yahoo's turned into an eyesore

Those bad dreams are still running through my head
Wish that a silver bullet would hit instead
I'd still take Yahoo to an exorcist
After I left they still make me pissed…
As they said I really won't be missed
Watch where all your members go
While you're eating some yellow snow
We all know that Yahoo blows
And keeps eating that yellow snow

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Is An Eyesore
(To "The Ballad Of John Rocker" by Tim Wilson)

Hey Yahoo your proctologists called they just found your head
When you designed those damned groups of yours you should have stayed in bed
You're the worst joke on the internet and there's no way it will let up
The reason your groups are there is proof that you never wore a cup

CHORUS
Yahoo is an eyesore
They're an ugly spam whore
They're worse torture than taxes overdue
Eyesores galore and spam which sticks like glue
Will force us more and more
To go to other groups sites in store

Now Yahoo all your groups are dead
Don't care how you feel
You should have kept your clubs instead
Of groups without appeal
You see the members of Yahoo
Are joining me in raising glass
In that toast the words were very few
They are: YAHOO CAN KISS OUR ASS!!!"

CHORUS

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Is Bad
(To the theme of "FELIX THE CAT")

Yahoo is bad
So miserably, miserably bad
Whenever you go into their groups
You find your stomach churning in loops

Yahoo is bad
They're miserably, miserably bad
They spam too much
Their necks you'll touch
With two hands a throat massage
Shoot Yahoo with a bullet barrage...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Medley 10-31-2002

Sorry Assed Site
(To "Real American") (new)

They're always crashing down and it hurts inside
There's no leg to stand, there's nowhere to hide
Yahell hurt my friends, tried to kill my pride
We gotta leave Yahoo because it had died

They are a real sorry assed site
Groups taken over their best format
They are real bad for your eyesight
Run with your wife…
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE…

99 Billion Clubs (new)

99 billion clubs on Yahoo
99 billion clubs
You screw up the format
And change it to groups
We see the exodus out of Yahoo...

(Welcome to my Yahoo)

Welcome to My Yahoo
Their groups are gonna scare you:
It's just the way things are
With sites sub-par…
We used to laugh and vent here
Yahoo's a huge old pain here
As right inside I feel
Like I'm ill…

Welcome to their eyesore
NO-O-O-O-O

(King Of All SPAM)

Spy cams for sale…how dense
Groups aren't worth fifty cents
No balls…no spine…just gall
They're the worst site overall…
But two seconds of viewing groups
Our stomachs start churnin' in loops…
Don't think they really give a damn:
King of all spam…

(Shaving Cream)

Their groups are the biggest eyesores
On the internet I'll admit
And from here we just can't stand the odors
'Cause it smells like a big pile of…

Shaving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every say and you'll always look keen…

(Sweet Torture - revised)

Every night in my dreams
I feel sick, I see it,
Are groups what you call a big hit?

Getting trapped in high beams
I go in between them
Rather than go in on a whim...

Near, far
Wherever we are
I believe that Yahoo deserves this
Once more
Speakers near their door...
My torture reserved this
Yet my stomach churns on and on...

This song taught us one thing
The more irritating
The worse torture their groups will bring...

Blare it loud for Yahoo
Until the groups stop you
From playing our revenge so true...

Until
Windows fall from sill
Shattered from the volumes we play
Once more
They'll see what's in store
When they hear an encore:
This song tearing eardrums away

I wish Yahoo's groups would just go away...

I'm here
You're running with fear
As you know that I'm playing that song
You'll stay:
Blaring Yahoo's way;
Wearing earmuffs today
As that song plays on and on...

(We Have Left You)

Yahoo's just a spam site
It's not right
Eyesores on the net
All the members want to forget
All those posts that we missed
They made us pissed
Leaving groups behind as members each night
Singing

You are the weakest link
Goodbye
We have left you Yahoo

(Ballad Of The Yahoo Groups)

Members leaving… Wonder why???
Spam is falling from the sky
Never care what we do say
They really failed without delay…

CHORUS I
Eyesores gone when we do leave
It's uglier than they believe
They wonder why we left today
But they never cared 'bout what we say…

Forces groups against our will
Lowered their membership to nil…
Why fight with them all night and day???
Get out of there without delay…

Our eyes sore and we are pissed
We need to see an oculist
We went blind on three damned posts
Now it's there as towns for ghosts…

CHORUS II
Before you leave turn out the light
No one wants to return to their site
Groups too ugly for words to say
Just leave Yahoo without delay

(Stinkin' Problem - revised)

CHORUS
Yes, I'll admit Yahoo's a stinkin' problem
What the hell's wrong with them?
Fumigation alone did prove
That damn smell you just can't remove…
They must admit they got a stinkin' problem
They think their groups are a gem…
When their clubs did quit
The whole thing turned into shit…

Yahoo should wake up one day
Take their eyesores away
Yet when their spam ring
Does us sting
Every day
Without delay…

CHORUS

Anyone here remember how good clubs used to be?
You can't? Well, I guess it was a passin' memory…

CHORUS

Yahoo is now a flop
And they don't know how to stop…

(Are They Lonesome Tonight)

Are they loathesome tonight
Groups that are such a fright
They're so ugly we had to depart?
Does their memory stray
Their clubs we would always stay
When we posted and posted with joy…
Now they forced those groups on us
Now empty and bare
Members screams and curses plus
We're leaving from there…
Are your eyes racked with pain?
Yahoo's gone down the drain
Hey…Yahoo…are you loathesome tonight?

Yahoo Is An Eyesore - new
(To "The Ballad Of John Rocker" by Tim Wilson)

Hey Yahoo your proctologists called they just found your head
When you designed those damned groups of yours you should have stayed in bed
You're the worst joke on the internet and there's no way it will let up
The reason your groups are there is proof that you never wore a cup

CHORUS
Yahoo is an eyesore
They're an ugly spam whore
They're worse torture than taxes overdue
Eyesores galore and spam which sticks like glue
Will force us more and more
To go to other groups sites in store

Now Yahoo all your groups are dead
Don't care how you feel
You should have kept your clubs instead
Of groups without appeal
You see the members of Yahoo
Are joining me in raising glass
In that toast the words were very few
They are: YAHOO CAN KISS OUR ASS!!!"

CHORUS

(Yahoo Bites the Dust)

Yahoo thinks their groups are neat
But they smell like dirty feet…
Used to be cool when people meet
Posting in clubs to their beat

Now that a nightmare has overtaken them
See the board of health did Yahoo condemn
Said that their eyelids had gone all numb…
Is Yahoo really that dumb???
YEAH

CHORUS
Another one leaves Yahoo
Another one leaves Yapoo
And another one's gone and another one's left
Another one left Yafoo
Hey when will you leave them too???
Another one leaves Yawho???

(Ode To Yahoo [new verse and chorus])

Yahoo's nothing more
Than an ugly spam whore
That we knew from before
Our clubs are all gone
We're singing this song
As members more
Head out for the door
Yahoo turned very mean
And well past obscene
And that's why we're raising this glass
The words they are few
This toast is well overdue
"YAHOO CAN KISS OUR ASS!!!"

CHORUS
Cause their groups smell like manure
Where they come and go
It drives us crazy ever so.
It's not OK!
Those groups smell like a backed up sewer
The site's not fit for pigs
Or those Yahoo big wigs
That replace clubs with shit du jour…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Pissed Us Off
(To "I Touch Myself")

They love themselves
And that is the problem
It deeper delves
That nobody loves them…
The members left
And they don't have a clue…
Our eyesight's in theft
Happens every post or two…

CHORUS
They wonder why everybody left
All we have to say: Yahoo pissed us off…
We don't want groups filled with spam
Every two clicks or so…

They're the groups that forced members running
To smarter groups more stunning
If Yahoo wants us back…it's fine
Just kiss where suns don't shine…

I close my eyes
I pray they go away
I think I'd die
If I stayed just one more day
A fool can see
Just how much we hate Yahoo
Groups bowling shoe ugly
And with Yahoo I am through…

CHORUS

The idiot who set up Yahoo's groups
Must have spent a lot of time touching himself…
Am I right or what???

CHORUS

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Sucks
(To Cleveland Rocks)

NOOOOOO
All of their members running out
Rubbing eyes about
They're such a crude little site
I think they lost the fight

All the little kids
Yelling by the hundreds
Scream YAHOO SUCKS!
YAHOO SUCKS
They're real obscene
Should never be seen
And Yahoo SUCKS!
Yahoo SUCKS!!!!! (x7)

Yahoo knows but they don't care
If you leave them or not
Can't go in their groups on a dare
They're filled with snot

All the little chicks with their crimson lips
Yell YAHOO SUCKS! YAHOO SUCKS!
Never listen to our honest tips
Why YAHOO SUCKS
YAHOO SUCKS!!!!! (x7)

They set the internet back ten years
And when their every group disappears
It's improvements for our eyes and ears
And Yahoo sucks
Yes Yahoo sucks
YAHOO SUCKS!
YAHOO SUCKS!

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Yahoo
(To "Louie, Louie")

Yahoo you knew
That we're all going to leave you
Yea yea yea yea yea
O Yahoo you blew
All chance of us returning to you...

Fine little groups you stuck up guys
Now watch us waving our good-byes
Our eyes are still way too sore
To see as we did once before

CHORUS

Look what three years there did to me
Can't believe I still can see
Yahoo got right in my hair
Tried their best to stay right there

CHORUS

We see members mooning Yahoo
All of those moons and none are blue
The rest all leave now and then
Not going back to Yahoo again

CHORUS

I say get rid of them now
And don't look back now
Leave NOW!!!

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo's A Disgrace
(To "Blues In the Night" by Johny Mercer)

The members done told them
That Yahoo's a disgrace
Stockholders done sold them
Won't even show their face
They give you all sore eyes
When the groups took by surprise
Yes Yahoo is two-faced
A butt ugly site
That will force you to leave Yahoo tonight

See the posts a-fallin'
Hear the names we're callin'
Yahoo
(Yes Yahoo is two-faced)
Hear deafening echoes
See the tumbleweed flows
Yahoo
(It is us they disgraced)
Leave Yahoo
In the blue
See all the members taking flight
From Yahoo tonight
(Hum)
Such an ugly site
Yahoo any night...

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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