TYH 3

~ Ludwig van Catt

The Flies Of Yahoo
(To "The Eyes Of Texas Are Upon You")

The flies of Yahoo have took over
Their groups on this day
Those groups do not smell like clover
It cannot go away
When you think you have escaped it
At night or early in the morn
The groups of Yahoo still smell like shit
As they spam all their porn..

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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The Groups Of Yahoo
(To "Deep In the Heart Of Texas")

(* May I suggest a Bronx cheer instead of clapping to show full appreciation of Yahoo???)

The stars at night
Don't seem as bright
Dimmed by the groups of Yahoo
Those ads they spam
It is a sham
Deep in the groups of Yahoo
Whew, man it sure
Smells like manure
Right in the depths of Yahoo
A quote I love
Where they should shove
All of the groups of Yahoo

It's a tight fit
I must admit
Right up the groups of Yahoo
The rabbits dare
To curse and swear
At all the groups in Yahoo
In bus and trucks
Scream YAHOO SUCKS
All the members of Yahoo
And we believe
That we should leave
This misery called Yahoo…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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The YaGropes Thing
(Parody Of Chuck Berry's "My Ding-A-Ling")

Yahoo thought that they were coy
Treating us founders like a cute little toy
Pissed us off, and that's the thing
The thing we call the "YaGropes Ring".

CHORUS
If this YaGropes thing's
The thing we should sing,
They must be playing with their ding-a-lings.
(repeat chorus)

Those people there are stubborn mules
Here they broke one golden rule
Delete button must be moved:
Intelligence has never been proved:

CHORUS

Hit reply and then delete
That thing reeks worse than our defeat
That mouse moved at times so wrong
That is why I'm here writing this song.

CHORUS

I hit forward the other day
Unsubscribe author I just may
If I forward this email thing
That virus called the "YaGropes Ring".

CHORUS

Now this old song, it ain't so bad
But Yahell has gotten me oh so mad.
This new format sucks so much
Hoover's suing them for "patent touch"

CHORUS

Yeah...THEIR ding-a lings
THEIR ding-a lings
We caught them playing with their ding-a lings
They screwed us well
They can go to hell
And take that YaGropes format and yell:
The YaGropes Ring
Caused us to sing:
Take back that virus called the YaGropes Ring.

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

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The Yahoo Groups
To "Ring Of Fire" by Johnny Cash

INTRO
Groups are an ugly thing
In our eyes a horrid sting
Yes...I must admit
Their format is a pile of shit...

CHORUS
Please don't light any matches around here
Cause they'd disappear...
I fear it would explode
All over the road...
Pick up with scoops
The Yahoo Groups...

Repeat INTRO twice
Repeat CHORUS

The smell of Yahoo's pit
Like manure's been lit
SPAM comes every click or two
But what else here is new???

Repeat CHORUS twice

Yahoo GO TO HELL
I will them tell
I'll scream and yell...

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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The Yahoo Song
(To "The Mickey Mouse Club Theme")

What's the site that makes us sick
With every single click???
Y-A-H-Double-O S-U-C-K-S
They wouldn't even let
You stay there on a bet…
Y-A-H-Double-O S-U-C-K-S
Yahoo sucks
(Yahoo sucks)
Yahoo sucks
(Yahoo sucks)
Forever we will hold that finger high
And we know why
Just be strong
You can't go wrong
And leave Yahoo to dry
Y-A-H-Double-O S-U-C-K-S

Now's the time to leave Yahoo
They haven't got a clue
Y-A-H, Goodbye to spam
Double-O, They don't give a damn
S-U-C-K-S!!!!!!!!!

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

(alternate ending)

Now's the time to say goodbye
And make old Yahoo cry
Y-A-H-
You really blew it
Double-O
You're toast and we knew it
S-U-C-K-S!!!!!!!!!

© 2003 Ludwig van Catt

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Those Rotten Yahell Groups
(to the most annoying song I know…Achy Breaky Heart)

You can tell me now that Yahoo really sucks
When their groups just ain't worth two bucks…
Or you can sell their stock
By barrel or by lock
Then point and laugh about those Yahoo schmucks…

You can tell them now that they can go to hell
As you unload their stock now to sell
They never listened here
To ideas so clear
For true improvements for clubs we should yell:

Just sell your stock…
That worthless Yahoo stock
I know they just don't understand…
Please will you sell your stock
By barrel or by lock
And invest instead in Harley's brand…
Ooo

It couldn't be worse if they played Billy Ray
And that annoying song of his all day
But let us raise this glass
"May Yahoo kiss our ass"
I never liked them anyway…

Invest in Microsoft…even in Harley…
Me, myself and I will give the plea
That we should really flee
That big eyesore with glee
The worst things in life now are really free…

Just don't change the clubs
Yes…even with their flubs
The best format I ever knew
If you listened in loops
Those rotting Yahell groups
Might blow up and kill Yahoo…
Ooo

Yes I hate Yahoo
As they're turning the screw
To member and founder alike…
And if you wondered why
This Yahell makes me cry
Outside their building I will strike…

That "Yahoo sucks"
And "It ain't worth your bucks"
I t should blow right up in their face…
Ooo

Don't tell me now
This rant I did allow
Caused you to leave in such disgrace…
Ooo…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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We Hate Yahoo
(To "O Fotruna" from Carl Orff's "Carmina Burana")

Oh it is true
We hate Yahoo
It brings misery to all…
Gets worse each day
We cannot stay
And can't wait to see their fall…
They always swerve
On ev'ry nerve
They wonder why we're heaving…
They're not that bright
Because their site
Is the reason we're leaving…

We are in flight
Another site
And from Yahoo we're fleeing
And not too long
Our eyesight's gone
Too much of Yahoo seeing…
Yahoo does blow
With spam they show
Really sucks more with each day…
I do believe
That we should leave
Very soon without delay…

Sick of Yahoo???
Well…I am too…
Yet think they are way too crass…
We do them tell
To go to hell
And tell them to kiss our ass…
They made us pissed
Nothing they missed
Their site's gone down the toilet…
We'll send our troops
On to Smart Groups
The best groups site on the net…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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We Swear
(Parody of John Michael Montgomery's "I Swear")

I see the anger in your eyes
I know the temper's on the rise...
You can be sure that they'll fix that glitch...
Cause they'll be sickened by every bitch???
If only a sigh of relief
And a little belief
That they'll fix that glitch...

CHORUS:
We swear
At that little stinking red "Y"
Tempers high
We swear
Those back 40s running with pride
Run and hide
As members we're not
We founders have fought
The fact we don't exist just anywhere
And swear...

We tell them everything they can
To shove their glitches with their two hands
We want to hang Yahoo..oh...so high
Because they're greying all our hair...
You won't have to ask if they did care
They will turn that glitch on high
Causing many a sigh...

CHORUS

We swear
At the glitches all seen and heard...
Flippin' bird...
We swear
Yahoo's runnin' by 404...
We want more
Yet better than flubs
For the Yahoo clubs
Though love 'em through every glitch of terror...
We swear...
And swear...

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

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Welcome To My Yahoo
To Alice Cooper's "Welcome To My Nightmare"

Welcome to My Yahoo
Their groups are gonna scare you:
An advertising hell
Described so well…
Yahoo gives the sensations:
Unnecessary sedations
To make us feel at home
In rooms of foam…

Welcome to My Yahoo
No-o-o-o-o

Yahoo always breaks down
It's lookin' like a ghost town
It's just the way things are
With sites sub-par…
We used to laugh and vent here
Yahoo's a huge old pain here
As right inside I feel
Like I'm ill…

Welcome to this eyesore
NO-O-O-O-O

Welcome to this eyesore
Don't think I'm gonna take more
Head continues to spin
Logging in…
Try to cover your eyes dear
The headaches are coming near
Mad at Yahoo for this
No…I'm PISSED!!!

Yahoo really sucks here!!!
Yeah!

Welcome to their breakdowns…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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We're Leaving Yahoo
(To "Hoch soll er leben")

Spam loving Yahoo
Took over Yahoo
Made us blue...

Truth hurting Yahoo
We're leaving Yahoo
Why don't you???

Here we all go
Yahoo does blow...

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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What Should We Do With a Site Like Yahoo
(To "What Shall We Do With A Drunken Sailor?)

What should we do with a site like Yahoo
And a site that spams like Yahoo?
What should we do with a site like Yahoo
Without feathers or glue?

Chorus
Hey see the members leaving
And the rest are up there heaving
Yahoo is such a big eyesore
See us walking out the door …

Perhaps this idea might sound squirrely
Put 'em in a boat with Crazy Shirley
What should we do with a site like Yahoo
Without feathers or glue?

Make 'em honestly give numbers
That won't sink Yahoo like anchors
That's the trick for a site like Yahoo
See how big their nose grew…

See them stand with a stupid stammer
And break their site with a strong hammer…
What should we do with a site like Yahoo
Without feathers or glue?

Give them all a few great big clues
That in time and money they'll lose
We know Yahoo's never trusted
Too bad their site is rusted…

Get even with those format drippers
Soak 'em in oil till they sprout flippers
What else can we do with this site Yahoo
Without feathers or glue?

Force 'em to listen to polka music
Until of it they are tired and sick…
What to do with a site like Yahoo
Without feathers or glue…

Force them under the members heaving
As they are at their format leaving
Presents great for a site like Yahoo
Who had lied to me and you…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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www.yahell
To Alan Jackson's www.memory

I know you're pissed. I see the signs
You're gonna walk out in this field of mines
Get around that glitch
And always bitch
Pulling your hair out
You're gonna shout
On some rainy day: "I HATE YAHOO!!!"
I feel like sayin "You know I do too".

CHORUS
We're in www.yahell
We'll be screamin' with a well-placed yell
If you feel the need to find that smell
It's at www.yahell

You won't even have to IM me
Or glance into my eyes
I know you are my beauty
With every day's sunrise...
While you're at work I do miss your
Presence truly
When I get that boot du jour
That takes me from you...

CHORUS

I love you, I'll shout
And I want out
Of this www.yahell

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Glitches
(Parody Of the Dixie Chicks "Wide Open Spaces")

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about
Who's never been mad, who's never stuck out
Their tongue out at one very deserving
And Yahoo's gotten a bit more unnerving

Many words from them will sound hollow
A founder finds it hard to swallow
It takes its shape in a place normal day
But it pisses us off in every way

CHORUS:
Don't need wide Yahoo glitches
Less room to make big mistakes
With fewer bitches
We need a few breaks

We traveled this route here before
Not knowing what is for us in store
It won't be coming back or will it come back
With a new glitch which will be out of whack…

CHORUS

As Yahoo drives us members nuts, aloud we yell:
"Welcome to the abyss…And Welcome to Sweet Yahell"
"It ain't so bad once you get used to it
It still smells like Bandini had been lit"

CHORUS
We need a few breaks
And for goodness sakes
No more disgraces
On open spaces…

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Groups Suck
(To "'O Sole Mio")

Oh what an eyesore Yahoo has turned into
It caused me headaches that just will not go away
For false advertising we should them sue
Cause they called it Yahoo without delay…

CHORUS
Yahoo groups suck
Worse every day
Here there is no luck
They won't go away
Those groups those groups which do let
That stench go all over the net

Why did they force those groups upon us that day
When did we have anything good to them say
Those groups aren't welcome here or anywhere
Shove them up your ass where we won't care…

CHORUS

It must be a tight fit where you did hide them
Trying to create a diamond or a gem
Nothing can work with such a humongous lump
Leave that groups format of yours back at the dump…

CHORUS

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Has No Balls
(To "Mein Hut er hat drei Ecken")

Yahoo it has no balls here
No balls really appear
When we complain to Yahoo
Where spam should stick like glue

They won't notice we left there
Our nerves always they tear
When we leave this site called Yahoo
Elsewhere our eyes will view…

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo IS The Weakest Link
(To Steam's "Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye")

Yeah they are the weakest link here hey Yahoo goodbye…

Shoved under a bus
They did scream and cuss
Cause they gave us those groups
Made our heads spin in loops
They might be there but they're not really there
(Yahoo…you suck)
Ugly everywhere
Can't escape
(We want out of Yahoo so bad we can taste it…)
Go and drape
Kiss 'em good riddance…

Heard you were the weakest link…goodbye…
Yeah they are the weakest link here hey Yahoo goodbye…

Leave from Yahoo now…

They never appreciated our efforts
Yeah…it really hurts
When clubs fall wayside to groups
Where spam is always rampant in their loops
(Spam us…Yahoo)
Yahoo get a clue…
We'll leave you
(If you don't give our clubs back
Show the class you seem to lack)
Kiss Yahoo GOOD RIDDANCE
As we do prance
A grand dance…

Yahoo is the weakest link…goodbye

[fade in]
Weakest link…goodbye…
Yeah they are the weakest link here hey Yahoo goodbye…
Yeah they are the weakest link here hey Yahoo goodbye…
Yeah they are the weakest link here hey Yahoo goodbye…
[repeat many times and fade out]

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo needs a change
(To Neal McCoy's "For a Change")

It seems like all our lives
That Yahoo's been throwin' knives
Here always at our head...
We post every kind of thread
That Yahoo's, been actin' pretty strange...

Shut off an hour or two
From postin' that what is due
But I never thought I'd get through...
From that ever lovin' glitch
'Cause pretty soon we'd bitch
And be lookin' for a change...

CHORUS
Yes a change
We can see a little trouble
When we see that red Y...
We swear...at Yahoo a little louder
Every time we hear that name...
You know we could never see why
The glitches we see double
To make them prouder
I'm talkin' 'bout their claim to fame
I'm not gonna bitch
On this glitch...

Hey, I must confess
Yahoo's just a mess
Every single time they've pissed
Us off when we have missed
I'd like their necks to caress
With two hands for makin' this mess...

Say bye to Yahell's lust
We've seen that they're a bust
They look the other way
From complaints from today...
Ever since they should arrange
These clubs lookin' for a change...

CHORUS

They're too strange…

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

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YAHOO SUCKS!!! - original
(Parody of "Our Site Sucks")

Yahoo stinks and it sucks!
It ain't the place to spend your bucks
Yahoo sucks!
Their site's real bad...
It's sad there's no excusing
Those glitches, so sad
The members they're confusing...
Their groups site really blows
It definitely shows
So they'll try to screw up a brand new format
That looks like a bad chain letter in mid-chat!
Yahoo stinks and it sucks!
It's just that they really don't give a f#$%
Yahoo SUCKS!!!

© 2001 Ludwig van Catt

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Yahoo Sucks!
(To "Our Site Sucks")

Yahoo sucks!!!
Yahoo sucks!!!
It ain't the place to spend your bucks
Yahoo sucks!!!
Their groups are bad
So bad there's no excusing
Many a spam ad
The members they're confusing
Yahoo groups really blow
Yes...It really does show
They had screwed us out of a good clubs format
Everywhere I go it smells like a dead rat...
Yahoo sucks
Yahoo sucks
It's just they really don't give two fucks
YAHOO SUCKS!!!!!

© 2002 Ludwig van Catt

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